Arguing. Is it a problem? Most of us would agree that it is, at least, for the most part.
But, a large part of the problem is what you do when you fear a problem is evolving. Being that you’ve probably come to feel helpless in arguments before, you’ve learned to either fight or take flight, and neither of these extremes is helpful. Both tend to provoke an argument further into danger, rather than back towards safety.
For, it is here during the moment of sensed danger where you become convinced that your control is no longer effective, and you release it, ceasing to employ all of your preventive measures, and giving up on the notion that it is still within reason to try for a solution. Thus, it is actually your belief that you are in danger that welcomes danger in.
So, to avoid arguing, you must unlearn your fear of arguments, as well as the belief you’ve accepted that you are powerless in these situations. How can you accomplish this? First of all, by simply teaching yourself to be aware.
Recognize that helpless feeling when it first comes. Do all you can not to give in to it. Try to put it into words. What are you afraid of — being controlled, or of a good moment being ruined? Something is causing you to feel fearful and helpless. That is the real threat — not the person you’re arguing with.Your fear begins to lose its power over you when you recognize it and define it.
Simply put, argument prevention is about learning to resist the right thing. Not your partner, or whoever you may be arguing with, but your fears, and your own belief that you are helpless. This one small realization can make all the difference in the world when it comes to your interactions with people.
Learn more about how to navigate through arguing HERE.